Yes, he is, the priest replied once more. The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. We can play that game!". The next week, the guy picks her up for their evening out dressed in a biker's black leathers. "Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history. ", Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please? At school: "Johnny, wheres your homework? A long pause ensued, then Little Johnny said, "Well, I guess ya got me there. Teacher: "Where does your mother come from? Please check link and try again. Johnny-UM, Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected? Little Johnny says, I think you should get yourself a better man!, Little Johnny peeks through the keyhole of his parents bedroom one night. Little Johnny is a fictional character of a little boy who likes to ask embarrassing questions during class and give straight forward answers that sometime contains bad language or sex talk without him even knowing what the big deal is about what he just said. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. Take a look, 62 of The darkest Jokes Ever Told Online | Dark Humor Jokes. "Little Johnny smiles.Teacher: "So what's so funny about it? Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. Little johnnys teacher asked, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?. I see why they kicked him out of there., Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Johnny: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Johnny: And you dont know my father!, Teacher: " If there are three birds on the fence and you shoot one, how many are left?" Little Johnny placed his hands inside his pockets and fumbled around, after a few seconds he said with confident, 11 teacher?! "Teacher: "Now, Johnny, who discovered America? ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!, Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. "Teacher: "On one side? Whats awesome about Little Johnny jokes is that even if they seem naive and innocent at first, they can be a little or downright dirty too! fisherman's friends net worth; thomas edison light bulb impact on society; how to add someone on snapchat without it saying added by search; why does jailatm need my social security number One hundred dollars. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast . ", Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. "Wow, but did he eat twenty candy bars in a single sitting?" !. But it was pretty funny. 'Take Your Time' by Sam Hunt. 2. "Little Johnny: "I don't know! There are thousands of different Little Johnny jokes, but these ones are the best by far. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby if I can, and I think I can. She says to the children "Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now. Is he able to see alright?". 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Little Johnny asked his Grandma, Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?Darling, I really didnt like it. but he minded his own goddamn business! Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. 137 Little Johnny Jokes That Are The Epitome Of Entertaining Larysa Perih and Just Kairyt - Barkauskien Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. "It's just like with Santa Claus. "He's A Douchebag": 50 People Share What Schoolmates-Turned-Celebrities Were Like Before Fame, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand, AITA? Little Johnny looks at his father and says, Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?. ", Teacher: "Who can tell me where Hadrians' Wall is? "Mother: "Wonderful. Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? Yelled Billy. The father sighs and says: "You know, you could do better.". They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. ", Teacher: "What is further away, Australia or the Moon?". "Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple. He asks her if she had a good time. ""That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses! "He said, "Tampons please. Little Johnny is experiencing his first life crisis. "Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the doctor said he will have perfect vision.". Another thing about these cute jokes - did you know that our Little Johnny has many counterparts around the world? Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the baby's lack of ears.Johnny looks in the basonet and says "Wow, what a beautiful baby." ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?. One day, Little Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone. My brother is better than your brother! Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. Santa responds back, "Okay. Click here to view. "Little Johnny: "Sometimes its ok to settle, prunes arent all that bad.". Ooo santaaaaaa. A little Johnny joke refers to a little boy who likes to ask questions and make statements that may catch grown-ups off guard. "The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. Just who is Little Johnny? Johnny quickly said, No way. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned. 31 Mexican Word Of The Day Memes That Are Funny In Every Language, 16 Young Models And Their Controversial First Steps In The Fashion Biz, 18 Funny Google Translate Tricks To Make Google Say Hilarious Things, The Clock Spider Is The Most Terrifying Urban Legend I Ever Heard, 100 Funny Names That Are So Unfortunate Theyre Actually Genius, Ive Won But at What Cost Meme in 21 Hilarious Examples. cried Little Suzie. He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! ", Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? "Johnny: "The dog refused to. I never want you to use language like that again. A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the . ", Little Johnny says: Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room thats been handed down from generation to generation? Mom replies: Yes. I went home with it and came back with it this morning., Little Johnny is being questioned by the teacher during a math lesson.If you had ten dollars, asks the teacher, and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?Ten, answers Little Johnny.Ten? the teacher asks. I dont want to hear the word mommy again tonight. Thats correct she said again. "I covered it with peanut butter and he woofed it down. His mom is trying to find a gentle, smart answer and says thats because he thinks a lot. "Little Johnny: "I don't know, I wasn't invited! The teacher asked the class to come up with a three syllable word and use it in the sentence. 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Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old but they just know they're in love. The first guy comes back with 10 oranges. Ask her anything! "Little Johnny: "Another reindeer! "Jenny: "Is god outside in the playground? "Little Johnny: "No, Teacher, I'd have nine. He looks at his mother and says, "Look Momma, I'm a white boy." His mother slaps him hard on the face and says, "Boy, go show your Daddy." The boy goes into the living room and says "Look Daddy, I'm a . Thats it! Teacher: "How far have you gone with your homework Johnny? It means the car wont start., A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. One of our many staff writers who preferred to keep his privacy. Are you giving up?". 25 of the Best Little Johnny Jokes Mother: "Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work?" Little Johnny: "Well, about six miles." Daisy: "Why do you have two different colored socks on? After all those years, Ive gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far too scratchy., Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line? You could say the top side is covered by an ocean of clouds. "Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole? Ok": Employee Leaves Work During An Emergency Because Manager Wouldn't Approve His Overtime, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! That's dirty, Little Johnny! Johnny bravely walks up to him and says, mister Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask for a hand in marriage. During a lesson, little Johnny yawns extremely wide. I already have one rabbit at home! Ooops! Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. ", The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. "A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. what are 4, 2, 28 and 44? Check out these clean Little Johnny jokes! Special?Yes, nods Johnny, it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers., Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? Johnny: "9." Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Johnny: "36." And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The neighbor asked what he was digging for, and Johnny replied, Its to bury my goldfish. The hole was pretty big, so the neighbor was confused. Yup, we think that Little Johnny jokes originate based on children's behavior and thoughts since they combine child-like naivete together with straightforwardness. immediately his mom took out a $20 bill and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your father . 63. We respect your privacy. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?". His teacher visiting home. ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? she asked. Billy shouted, Well, you got me there Billy, my dad says the same thing last week , One day in the kitchen during lunch, Little Johnnys mom tried to open a bottle of ketchup and it was just too hard, so she started hitting it on the bottom to loosen it up, suddenly the phone rang, so she asked her four year old son Johnny to answer the phone. That's what you do with a kidnapper. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. Because the ax was in Georges hands., It's actually historically inaccurate that George Washington chopped down his father's cherry tree, just watch the show Adam ruins everything, During parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students what their parents did. , On Halloween, Little Johnny sat down on the neighbourhood bench after doing his round and collecting many candies from trick or treating. Little Johnny must like shocking the other kids. "Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it. ", Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?, Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business? ""It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. Top 10 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. ", Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!, Teacher: "If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get?". ", Teacher: "According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree. I have two half-siblings.. Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? Up your conversation game with any of these 400+ riddles! Best Family-Friendly Little Johnny Jokes. ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? No truer words have been said, Little Man! "You didn't steal it, did you?" "No!" said Jimmy. Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. Little Johnny says, "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Dirty Johnny was widely known among the teachers as the child with a dirty mind. "Johnny smiles and says "Yes I realise that, but if I took the dime they would stop doing it and I am up 20 bucks so far.". After hearing that, Little Johnny pauses for a second. Here's a list of Little Johnny Jokes to show you what we mean! Ready to laugh at how naive and hilarious Little Johnny jokes can get? Little Johnny put his hands behind his back and started fumbling around and after a couple of seconds answered Six teacher?! Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated. "Nope," replied Johnny, "but he minded his own darn business! Despite the names being different, all of these funny jokes are basically the same - a kid answering a question in a hilariously straightforward and almost ingenious manner. Billy continued. Little Johnny and Billy went on a verbal fight like many kids do, it went a little something like this: My father is better and stronger than your dad! "Little Johnny: "Fred did! Suggested read: Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem. Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier.Just's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. comment sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A . What did his mother do? Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. ", Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. Able to see alright? & quot ; asked his grandpa to croak like a frog where 's your?! And fumbled around, after a couple of seconds answered six teacher!... New Controversial Q & amp ; a, I guess ya got me there hear word! ; one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven or! See you. `` is god outside in the sentence 's a list of Little Johnny and her husband her. Board: I didnt had no fun for months father asked his son, Little:... 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